So what do you do when you thought you knew what you wanted to do with your life, yet, when it comes down to it, maybe you don’t?
Aren’t you supposed to get all this motivation when you find what you want to do, ready to just shift and start living the life you want to live?
What do you do when you don’t?
Filed by jclements at 3:14 pm under blog
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I think everyone has those things in life we do almost every day, without fail and without thought; we wake up at roughly the same time of day, get up on the same side of the bed, walk the same route to our first stop whether it be the kitchen for coffee or the office for the morning email, and we all have that time of day where our day actually begins in our minds, the part where the routine is no longer set and we have to decide (or have decided for us) on what we’re doing that day. My morning routine has been recently changed with the addition of checking on my five month old son, changing and feeding him but overall still part of a relaxed morning.
I for one don’t think having a set routine in the morning is bad, it’s keeps us comfortable, at peace, calms us before we start what could be a stressful day full of unknowns. Alot of us have several routines per day in fact, whether they be around lunch time, just before going home for the day, maybe once you are home for the day, or any other time your schedule has the time for a bit of normalcy which is really what a routine is for most of us, a time to be us, to be “normal”.
If you added it up, I’ve been alive for over 14,000 days and I can tell you firsthand, there are some routines I’ve done more than once and for many days consecutively. Despite all that however, I’ve had some tough times in my life, times that made the times of day in between routines nearly unbearable. Strange how one minute you could think your live isn’t worth living, yet just an hour or two later during your routine time, you feel at peace, even if only for a little while.
If you can feel relaxed during your routines, can’t you feel relaxed anytime? Does life really change that much? I would go so far as to say that for most people, if they compared yesterday to today they would see that nothing has really changed, despite the daunting perception of the events that may have just taken place, and, once the event has subsided, today will compare to tomorrow just as equally.
A routine means that we have the choice to do what we want to do when we want to do it, its how routines are even formed. Nothing changes that simple but basic concept. Life can try to alter our routines at time, but whether its successful or not is completely up to us, we can let it change us, make us do things we don’t want to do and make us miserable or we can say no to a change, keep in sight who we are, what we represent and how we intend to live our lives and not be changed. Making the choice is as much our choice as is what we decide to do once its made.
I like my routine, get up, spend some time with the baby, spend some time with the wife, a calm drive to work, work can be either fun or boring but that’s work for now, spend time at home with the wife for lunch, finishing off my day at work before getting to spend four hours with the wife and baby before bed. Sure I’d like to work from home and I want to be doing that within two years if possible, but with those plans in motion, my routine is alright until that comes to fruition making my routine even more amazing. When the day comes that my routine includes seasonal trips, overseas travel and the like, even more so.
Filed by jclements at 3:12 pm under blog
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I am going to be starting a new blog related to some programming projects I will be developing at home.
This set of software applications and components will be located at http://www.jnjsoftware.com/. It will have a series of Delphi based components as well as productivity/organizational related software which I have started brainstorming.
This has been a LONG time goal of mine, over ten years since I first conceived it, so the chance at finally being able to do it is a huge step forward. In the long run, hopefully it will get me out of the career field and into the entrepreneur field, which is my eventual goal.
There will be several small steps taken in the development, all of which will be documented as things develop.
Filed by jclements at 2:53 pm under blog
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Because Macarser keeps prodding at me to write a “Guest Blog” on here… I finally decide while in the middle of doing a crap ton of paperwork to…. Hijack his blog, and write a post.
Therefore… I am going to ramble on about…. NOTHING!
Heehee.
Okay, actually… Not nothing, more of the paperwork required when something as simple as getting married takes place.
I have to: Request my birth certificate so I can replace my Social Security Card, allowing me to go down, and take a copy of my Marriage License, to a DMV so that I may get a Texas ID, all with one thing… One tiny little Name changed.
That’s 4+ Forms I have to fill out, not to mention bank forms, and other official forms that I have to fill out, all because I changed my name from my Maiden Name, to Macarser’s last name…
Why doesn’t anyone ever warn you about these things? >.<
It’s long been said that “Money makes the world go round.” I personally think, whoever said that… Was both an idiot, and well… just an idiot, as it’s PAPERWORK that makes the world go round, because nowadays, you can’t even get money without filling out Triplicates of paperwork.
So many trees get kablammed in the face, just so we can fill out more, and more paperwork.
*sighs*
Stupid paperwork…
Filed by Twilight at 1:21 pm under Rants
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I had the priviledge of picking the mind of the CEO of a security company last week in regards to habits, and he offered me some words of wisdom on the subject.
”1. Habits either serve us or hurt us. They are little programs that help us navigate through life on ‘auto-pilot’ so that we can focus on other things a little more productively. Most habits are nothing more than reinforced patterns of behavior that operate at a subconscious level.”
I’ve often described myself as a slave to my patterns; doing the same thing day by day because its ‘what I do and who I am’. The auto-pilot metaphor is more eye-opening however as to the true problem of doing without thinking. Habits are not bad by definition, but bad ones allowed to run rampant are.
”2. Interestingly, what we define as a good or bad habit is often driven by societal paradigms. Hence, exercise, eating healthy, drinking, smoking, taking drugs, etc. are all labeled as good or bad. The question we have to ask ourselves is whether they serve us or not. In short, be mindful of why you want to form or break a habit in the first place. Is it because YOU think you should or because you believe someone else thinks you should?”
I am good at recognizing bad habits in myself when I take the time to identify them. Taking that time is however, yet another bad habit.
”3. You don’t break habits. This may sound crazy but you have to look at the biological underpinnings of a habit. Neurologically speaking, we program habits into our nervous system and then reinforce them through a process called myelinization. Read Daniel Coyle’s book ‘The Talent Code’ and you’ll get a sense for what I’m talking about. With this in mind, you can think of a habit as something that you’ve constructed through repetitive action. You don’t just go in and wipe out a biological code that you took time to create. This is one of the reasons why people say they can’t ‘break’ a habit. Willpower doesn’t rewrite code that you’ve invested days, weeks, months or years writing and reinforcing.
4. You have to ‘Replace’ a habit with something else. In other words, write a new biological code. When I decided to become a triathlete 12 months ago I weighed 35 pounds more than I do now and didn’t do any type of physical activity. I had to rewrite the code which was to get up late, eat doughnuts and lounge around. I needed a new code, a new habit. The new code I wrote was to get up at 4:30A and work out every day, eat right, etc. At that point I’m wiring a new set of instructions.”
The notion to replace habits instead of quitting is a concept I have not heard of very much. In everything from drinking to smoking to procrastination everyone always wants you to quit, whether 12 stepper or cold turkey, quitting was always the answer. Its been one of my stinking points however, when I decide I’m going to quit something, that particular time of day comes around again the next day and then what? More than once it took only a day before an old habit came right back. My biggest issue is remembering I even quit the habit but I in part think that’s related to the fact that I did not have anything lined up to replace the old habits timetable and so boredom, a not busy mind, and discomfort brings back ol’ faithful, the bad habit.
”5. The underpinning of the new habit formation has to be a personal vision that you choose for yourself. You have to decide who you are in your mind’s eye irrespective of where you are today. For me, I said ‘I am a triathlete’.”
”6. The interesting thing is that forming new habits has less to do with something you ‘Do’ and opposed to ‘Someone you Are’. So what do I mean by this? You have roles in your life that you don’t question. For instance, it might be father, friend, employee, etc. You don’t question the fact that it’s ‘Just Who You Are’. You do things in keeping with those roles regardless of how you feel. This is why feelings are so unreliable when it comes to forming a new habit. At some point you have to decide that being a healthy person or whatever it may be is just who you are. Then, you go to work building a new set of instructions. Once they are built and on auto-pilot you move onto another one.”
This also is a stopping point for me, as I cannot seem to pin down exactly what I want for myself. I know the big things, sure, the family, house, vacations, all that jazz, but who am I and what will I be doing with the rest of my life besides running on auto-pilot? It’s plagued me for years, the sense that I’m moving forward, but with no goal you have no way to monitor progress or even be happy about whatever progress you may have had.
How should this whole process work?
I spent this 4th of July weekend at the house with the wife and son. Very low-key weekend, did some cleaning, cuddling on the couch and plenty of soulsearching, an exhausting amount of soulsearching. With a plan to start an at home business in August and needing to get my health back under control so I can be here for my son for as long as possible alot of things come to light. But where do you begin?
I plan on starting with identifying any daily process that needs changing or even elimination. Take that list and simultaneously come up with a list of processes that need to be added. Theoretically, this new daily schedule (or weekly, however you need it) should be a snapshot of a good week for you, where all your requirements are met, plenty of time for yourself as well as appropriate amounts for friends and family. Too rigid a schedule can be counterproductive so care needs to be taken to not go beyond the reasonable.
And thank you @MarkOOakes, for your time and inspiration for this post!
Filed by jclements at 3:35 pm under Family, List, blog
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Over the weekend I had my first coaching lesson with Shann Vander Leek, as well as the chance to again read her e-book Getting Your Groove Back.
Over the past few weeks its been real trying for me, both with an increased workload and longer hours at the office as well as handling of a newborn son (mine and my wife’s first). Add into the mix my desire to move into the next phase of my life as far as a different career goes and it can be downright overwhelming at times.
I admit to going into the session without a real understanding of what I can expect a life coach to do for me, or why I even needed it. However, thirty minutes later and I have newfound respect for those that pursue that career path. I had done some of my homework and I know what I want to do over the next two years, but whether it was reasonable, or even able to be done in the timeframe I was picturing was still uncertain to me.
Not anymore. The two year plan I have is full steam ahead and I’m looking forward to the gradual transition of things. She was able to convince me that I’m right in what I am trying to do and I’m running with it.
It has always been a thought of mine, watching sunrises and sunsets, quiet time, loving your life, both socially and career path, laughing every day, being spontaneous, able to up and leave on a whim, reading, having adventures and the every so often adrenaline rush. Fun times. Life doesn’t afford everyone those opportunities though. Or does it?
Sunrises are not meant to be viewed by only one person.
In talking with her and reading her book again, it’s more and more obvious things are easily accomplished with the right mindset and a little work ethic. Nothing in life is free unfortunately, but even that is minor if you are actually enjoying what your doing.
Schedules can help us accomplish things but it also limits us, keeping us tied to a strict regimene, I mean, how many times do we actually put “call wife and say hello” on our calendar? It’s something we plan on doing but doesn’t get done as often as if it were actually on a schedule.
I want to be schedule free.
Lucious Living, as Shann puts it, is exactly that.
Filed by jclements at 9:15 am under Review, blog
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Image by Health In Motion (http://healthinmotion.wordpress.com/)
E-book Review: “Reclaim Your Dreams: A Uncommon Guide To Living On Your Own Terms” by Jonathan Mead
As a new blogger, it was with great excitement I received in one day two seperate opportunities to review e-books for the first time. The first one that came in via email was Jonathan Mead’s Reclaim Your Dreams, so I spent the last hour absorbing all 85 pages of it.
Most self-help books/e-books start the same way, they hype themselves up to what you can expect to change in your life, tell you how the outcome should be, then give you overrated and, for the most part, unrealistic ways to solve them. That is not to say the way described is not possible and doesn’t work, quite contrary it probably does, *if* you followed it. However most of us seeking help or looking for a change have already tried several methods and usually the most obvious ones at that and are really at a point in our lives where the usual just isn’t enough for us. Blame it on willpower, confidence, or whatever, we just typically don’t follow through. I have been one of those types for longer than I care to admit to anyone, including myself.
Jonathan’s book however is a welcome change to that and actually provides me hope on that what I am out trying to accomplish in my life right now is actually obtainable.
Divided into two parts totally eight chapters, it contains enough material and quotes that even a bullet list of key sentences would be enough to inspire you.
To me a key part that differentiates his book from others is he is not providing you a check-list of things you must do to obtain your goals. Instead, he gets you to understand yourself better, to bring to light how you function and how you operate so that you can inevitably fulfill your goals in a way satisfactory to your preferred lifestyle, or way of being. I say that just before I tell you that there are exercises for you to follow, but I think they are just that, exercises, they help you accomplish but aren’t what actually does the accomplishing, that is reserved to the change of attitude and mentality you hopefully adopt during the course of the book.
For me, there are definite ideas and exercises in the book that I have never fully brought to light in my own self, such as just what exactly are my dreams, what do I want to accomplish in my lifetime, and the dreaded line I’ve heard before but never gave the time of day until now, how do you want to be remembered when you die. Just the idea of the “To Stop” list instead of a “To Do” list is completely new to me yet makes so much sense, why didn’t I think of it before? The ‘Points To Meditate On’ make good endings to each chapter, giving you a time to reflect over what you have just read, rather than moving forward and possibly downplaying the importance of the previous chapter in itself.
A book like this has to be lengthy to some degree, I’ll give him that, so if your engulfing everything like I did, chapter one becomes a blur by the time you read chapter eight as so many ideas are brought to light, so this weekend I’ll definitely be spot-reading over chapters again as I try to implement the ideas in my own routine. Every chapter had key phrases that clicked in my head that I look forward to reading again to solidify them in my mind.
For those needing a kick in the pants, this is definitely worth reading. If nothing changes in your life afterwards, I can promise you it won’t be the books fault.
“Ditch the mainstream and embrace the unstream.”
Filed by jclements at 4:18 pm under Review, blog
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I was recently moved by a blog post I read on Happy Lotus. In it, Nadia explains about how you are never able to completely get rid of your ego, but you can learn to deal with it, an issue I’ve recently pondered but in a different way.
I was originally going to try to explain the same thing but from the point of view of how I saw it, but I don’t want to detract from the original post.
I recommend you read both the post and the poem within it, they are well worth the time.
http://happylotus.com/2009/06/03/your-thoughts-are-not-who-you-are/
Likes:
reading books
exercising with someone
World of Warcraft
Magic: The Gathering
horror movies
going to the theatre
Delphi programming
Big Red
Coca-Cola
jack Daniels
Ice 101
Minute Maid Limeade (concentrate)
Five Alive
Fruit Punch Gatorade
black t-shirts
velcro sneakers
browsing the internet
making compilation/mix cd’s
cleaning house with someone
sitting on the couch watching tv
spending time with friends
playing Blackjack or poker
doing nothing with nothing to do
taking a drive
visiting stores for the first time
visiting new restaurants
trains
lighthouses
reading self-help ideas
daydreaming
El Camino’s
most music
powerful music played loud
playing in the rain
driving in rain on empty roads
Dislikes:
most green vegetables
constantly being hungry
yellow and orange cars
dirt
bugs
creepy, crawly bugs
anything that’s boring
having to nap
having nothing to do
bill collectors
car salesmen
Tab cola
Crystal Light
food with brain matter consistency
having unfulfilled dreams
ignoring my own dreams for others
being both a hippo and a sloth
knowing what to do and not doing
some music
being indecisive
being shy
stuttering
being afraid to express myself
thoughts in my head when others view me
a day with way too many errands
losing control
forgetting things
being too literal
traffic
driving in rain on full roads
Filed by jclements at 11:13 am under List, blog
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I have upgraded to the new Wordpress 2.8, hopefully the transition went well, as I didn’t take the time to backup my databases, but if you see any issues please comment. 
Filed by jclements at 1:16 pm under blog
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